Not going well

Tonight is not going well. My son is currently in the bedroom trying to get through multiplication with his dad. There are lots of tears and screaming. This entire process started about 2 hours ago. 2 hours for 24 problems!

Not every night is like this. But he has had a lot of math this week. And because of his learning disability, he has had an impossible time learning is multiplication facts. So doing 2 and 3 digit problems is a very tedious process for him. Almost impossible it seems. So frustrating.

The kids were both sick last week. So now the husband and I are both sick. Making us less than patient and wishing we could forget we have responsibilities and just go to bed.

I feel bad for my son. I know sometimes the work is really hard for him. But he also NEVER just steps up and tries his hardest. It always has to be a fight. I have a really hard time with that. He plays the victim about everything. He thinks all the drama that has happened tonight is our fault. He takes no responsibility for any of it, like the fact that he doesn't just sit down and get started, no matter how hard it is, when he is told too.

I am supposed to be submitting an open enrollment packet to a Montessori middle school on Monday. I think it could be a great opportunity for him for next year, if he can get in. But just like everything else I do, I worry that he won't own his part and it will be a disaster.

When is a child old enough for the parent to throw their hands up and say "fine, this is your life, natural consequences will prevail." I ask myself that question all the time because I feel like I bang my head against a brick wall, a lot!

God help me!

So one day sick last week has resulted in an almost insurmountable amount of homework and hours of unhappiness. Why does missing one day of school, a Friday no less, when half the afternoon is "Fun Friday", have to result in hours of homework the next week.

I AM NOT IN THE 6th GRADE!!!

I don't want to do the homework. It is not my homework. But if I don't sit here with him, there is no way in he** that he will ever get even a quarter of it done. 2 hours last night, another 2 tonight, and he is still not finished.

So tomorrow will probably be another 2 hours. God help me........

Up and running for real

Morning! This is my first official post since my website was connected to my blog. Click on the title for this post and it should take you to my website, unless of course you got here from my website, then you already know that!

Sent both my sick kids off to school today. They aren't too sick to be at school. Plus it is parent/teacher conference week so the week is all messed up with short days and whatnot.

My post for today focuses on a question posed to you as a comment from me. I am struggling with myself because I find that even on "good" days with my son, when things are fairly calm, and there isn't much conflict, I'm still so worn out and frustrated from the last 11 years, that I do a terrible job being supportive and affirming on his good days. One little misstep on an otherwise good day and I can easily become overly frustrated and angry at him.

I hate this about myself. I find myself thinking about this flaw all the time. I don't want to be this way but I think all the conflict has become such a habit that I don't know how to respond otherwise.

Plus, when I am positive and affirming and supportive, I don't think he knows what to do with it and he tends to get all goofy and weird and then equally annoying all over again.

Anyone else have these feelings?

Glad it's Friday

Why do the children always have to get sick at the same time? Today, my son stayed home after being sent home yesterday and my daughter had to be picked up early after throwing up. YUCK! This is not how I wished to spend the end of the week but that is the life of a mom! My son was having a pretty good week too, getting his work done and whatnot. Oh well......life continues.

I'm tired

So where have I left off? It's been a couple of days since I posted last. My son survived school on Friday barely. Had issues in the morning, a perfect afternoon, and then trouble on the bus on the way home. Sometimes I think I am fighting 2 huge battles that I don't think I can win or realistically, have any control over.

First, his temperament. I keep telling him that everything I try to do for him is really a waste of time if he doesn't grow up and own his issues. He has to learn to suck it up, swallow hard, take a deep breath, whatever, every time something happens that he doesn't like. He cannot react or lash out every time he feels like it. He just can't. But when the moment strikes, he seems powerless to control himself. Truthfully though, I don't think he is powerless.

Secondly, I can't control the rest of the world. And in reality, kids especially, often do things to him for which any normal person would want to lash out. We just know better. Kids are mean. And my son is never blameless. But he often is reacting to things instead of being the one to start them. And here is where I struggle with his educational placement. He is surrounded by kids who know how to push buttons.

Now one could argue, what better place to teach a child to not react. Maybe. But in reality, all I see are constant occurrences where he is set off. I still feel like given the time to mature, he might grow out of these reactions. We have a few friends who have nice, normal, mainstream kind of kids. And he does really well with these children. So I feel like I am constantly searching for the school environment that might contain a majority of these kind of "normal" children. Hoping he might be more successful there.

Enough said for now....

New day

Well, he didn't actually fall asleep until almost 11pm and he still didn't get his homework done. Today should be a fun day at school. Woo Hoo!!

A long night

So I guess I should start by saying that in reality this is not an uncommon night for us. However, since I have never had a blog before, you wouldn't know that. I don't know if I will end up doing this most nights or not but even if I do it most of most, then my readers might be able to identify with the day to day insanity that is often my life.

As I type this, my son is sitting next to me. Sitting next to me after returning from putting himself to bed because he swore he was too tired to do his homework and wanted to go to bed. Of course, as I predicted, he was not tired, did not go to sleep, and has now decided to take a crack at the homework.

All this after a ridiculously long argument the first time around about doing the homework! Will it never end???? Probably not. Will I stop being exasperated by him???? Probably not either.

I might add that on top of all that, tonight he also managed to spill super glue on my carpet, get super glue all over his arm, and super glue his fingers together (one of the reasons he allegedly couldn't start homework sooner).

I really need a glass of wine! :)

Welcome!

Wow! This is my first blog post. This blog will be dedicated to updating my readers on the daily struggle and journey of my family and our adventure through raising my ADHD, and other stuff, son.

It might be dedicated to other stuff too. We'll just have to see!